You may have noticed, I seem to have had a lot of 'sick' incidents in my life. This was not always the case. As a child there is just ONE instance that I recall actually vomiting.
I had been off primary school ill with a 'stomach bug'. I didn't truly believe I was ill and just wanted an excuse to be off school.
My brothers had finished school and had just gone to purchase a Hamster (Long haired Albino named Elvis, WELL cool). Now, because I was 'sick' Daniel wouldn't let me hold Elvis. I tried to convince him that I was fine... he was having none of it.
In a fit of rage I stomped out of his room and across the landing to my room .... didn't quite make it. In fact 2 steps outside Daniel's room, I felt something building up my throat "MUM, DAD, I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!!!"
"RACHEL GET IN THAT BATHROOM NOWWWWWW!!" (The bathroom was on the otherside of the landing next to my room..... at this point it may as well have been 10 miles away)
I didn't make it. I PROJECTILE vomited across the entire landing, it hit the airing cupboard, the stairs, the bannister, the bathroom door, EVERYTHING.
It is safe to say my father was NOT best pleased.
Turns out I was ill after all - I am convinced it was karma for faking it in the first place.
The puking was then put on hold for a good few years.... until alcohol entered my life quite heavily.
Some LOVELY spewing moments:
1) Eli's 'Pimps & Hoes' 16th Birthday party (Classy or what?!) - puking in Eli's backgarden whilst in mid conversation. Smoothering my brother's white tie in regurgitated food and alcohol. I didn't give it back.
2) Richard's house party in 6th form. Sitting on his doorstep spewing my guts out in the direct path of anyone entering the house. Having my eldest brother pick me up and hanging my head out the car window, puking into the wind the whole way home. My mother querying the cream specks that SMOTHERED the back end of her car the next day.
3) Laura's close family & friends gathering for her 18th - having had a fight with her boyfriend and humiliating myself completely - I let things escalate drink wise and spent a large portion of the night hanging my head down her toilet.
4) A random night in Suburban - got involved with a boy that had brought his own bottle of Sambucca in. Naughty. Had to be PUT in a Taxi. Puked my guts up all over myself, the taxi seat and partially on the back of the driver's head. Had to go via a petrol garage to get cash out and pay the taxi driver an additional £70 for 'ruining his seats for good'. Got home and got in the shower - Vomited in the shower.
On top of the world....... until it all came crashing down, in the taxi.
5) Another night in Suburban - Decided to ignore my hideous intolerance to Jagermeister. Got absolutely wasted (andddd emotional over a boy... how embarrassing) Puked in a number of different areas of the Bar's beer garden.... then kissed the boy in the above story (different night) IMMEDIATELY after. Feel quite bad for him in retrospect.... guessing another person's sick doesn't taste great. I had to return to the bar the next day for some Sunday drinks (whyyyyy I did this to myself I cannot remember).... one of the barmen and friends of mine said "I HAD TO CLEAR UP EVERY SINGLE BIG OF SICK YOU LEFT US RACH. THANKS, THANKS ALOT." What a state.
Hazy. VERYYYYY Hazy.
6) Night out in Clapham, which AGAIN involved Jager. Stayed the night at my friend Lauren's. Woke up feeling god AWFUL, watched X Factor catch up (standard). Rang dad to pick me up as could not face the train in my state. Got in car. Dad did half a 3 point turn. RANNNNNNNN out of car and banged on Lauren's door - legged it upstairs and had my head in her toilet for a good 10 minutes. Dad was not impressed.
SAY NO TO JAGER. STUPID GIRL
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