Fashion; A popular trend, esp. in styles of dress, ornament, or behavior

Ok so as much as I dislike your average 'Fashion Blog' that we see all too much of these days, I do in fact "work in fashion" and thus have a collected a few little fashion stories over the past couple of years.




The Intern. aka. Office Bitch
On my placement year from Uni I interned at a well known department store's Head Office, (where I now work) - in this period, I briefly stood in as a PA for our Buying Director - TERRIFYING. 
On the first day the Director had told me she was expecting a call from the then CEO of Yves Saint Laurent, Valerie Hermann. A phone call that I was instructed to answer - "right here we go then...." 
I need to note that I was seated at the PA's desk, on not my own.


The Phone rang... crap crap crap, be cool.... "Hello Buying, Rachel speaking... etc etc etc"
After some obligatory niceties i attempted to transfer the call to my Director, using the same system as ALL the other phones in the office.
But no no.... I hung up instead. I HUNG UP ON THE CEO OF YSL. I will be blacklisted by the fashion Industry for sure....shit shit shit.

A few days into being a  PA, I was growing a bit cocky - apart from the above incident it was all going very well, thank god.


The Director and had called me into her office to help her with some emailing. I noticed that one of the email addresses she was writing to was something along the lines of pdenis@......com. Suddenly, the awful 'Rachel wit' overcame me and I felt a hideous urge to make a joke. To the BUYING DIRECTOR of a top Department store I said something along the lines of....


"Wow, that dude's email is slightly dangerous, careful you don't slip up and address a Penis"


Now... yet AGAIN there was a moment I thought the fashion industry would blacklist me. But thankfully she has a sense of humour. 




The Sales advisor.
When I returned to Uni in Manchester, after my Placement year, I worked part time in one of the department stores in the same company. One of my hideously hungover Sundays in work I was fumbling around the beachwear department minding my own business when a small ginger man comes up to me.... This bloke in fact:

"Hi love, I was hoping you could help me - I have a load of Missoni bikinis on hold for my wife"


"Of course, I'll just go grab them for you".... I walked off towards the stock room. Shit. Spun back. 
"Sorry, can I take a name sir" 


He looked at me in a slightly amused way. I clearly wasn't from Manchester. - "Paul Scholes"
One step. two steps. three steps. four steps. five steps......... SHIT PAUL SCHOLES. I JUST ASKED PAUL SCHOLES HIS FUCKING NAME. WHAT A DOUCHE. 




The Buyer's Assistant
A couple of weeks ago was AW12 London Fashion Week. I went to a few different shows and exhibitions and managed to humiliate myself a few times... of course.


Christopher Raeburn show - front row of a rather personal catwalk presentation - we were all clapping once all the models had walked through and as i lifted my hands to clap my 'Christopher Raeburn AW12 brief' slipped straight off my lap and with some good speed slid across the floor. I admit this is a fairly minor mishap - but when you are sitting across from famous fashion reporters such as Suzy Menkes you feel like a right TWAT.


Markus Lupfer Exhibition - We were actually just leaving the exhibition, having grabbed our free class of champagne. Walking quite speedily to keep up with the girls I was with, whilst sipping my drink meant that I was not watching my step... consequently I ran SMACK BANG into models Cara Delevingne and Georgia Jagger. GREAT, just what I want, London socialites looking at me like I am a fumbling fool.
I then attempted to 'down' my champagne quickly before we left.... and dribbled half of it down my chin and then my dress. I don't do smooth.


Fashion East show - I was with one of my friends from work and we had arrived slightly early so decided to take advantage of the free flowing champagne.... waiters were on hand to top up instantly should your glass run low. That's what I like to see. Once the show was starting we took our still full glasses with us to our seats. 
By this point I was already feeling the affects - slight word slurring and clumbsiness. It got to the third designer in the show, James Long. I reach back behind me to set my champagne down and take a picture. 

After taking the above photo I reached my hand back behind me....without looking...and SMACKED my champagne all over the feet of the girl behind me. WHOOPS.... didn't get the kindest of looks from her quite understandably. 

Somerset House - So I was on my way to meet some colleagues inbetween shows and was walking through the quad in Somerset House (this is basically the base camp of LFW... lots of photographers, bloggers, reporters, stylists, buyers, random reality TV celebs etc everywhere) and for some UNKNOWN reason to me a photographer actually THREW his camera and stupid flashy thing into my face. I did not react well. It was SOOO unexpected and out of the blue that I literally screamed "JESUS CHRISTTTTTTTTTTTTT" in his face. I definitely noticed a good number of passers by perk up and glare at me in bemusement as my blasphemy echoed around the quad. 

Giles show - So I was sitting front row at Giles which I was pretty chuffed about, good view and free MAC products. Always a winner. 

A couple of days later I figured I'd check out the Vogue Online images of the show. In the first picture I spotted something.......

Ohhhhh this was exciting.

I quickly flicked to the next picture... and the next.... and the next... but soon discovered that clearly having not been happy with me in their front row pictures, the photographers had speedily rearranged their camera angles for ALL of the remaining catwalk looks. 

Ohhhh the disappointment.