MOT test; a compulsory annual test of older motor vehicles for safety and exhaust fumes

I had a couple of days of Annual Leave left before April so I decided to take a couple of days off last week. My chum Jem has just moved home from Edinburgh so I figured it would be a good opportunity to hang out with her.

My mum comes up to me about 2 weeks ago and says.... "By the way, your car MOT is due TODAY". OH right.... ok, thanks for the notice!!
Apparently, now that I am 'a grown up' **Shudders** it is down to me to organise this kind of thing. Luckily, it seems you get 2 weeks grace.... SO, I thought it best to discuss with my father, mother and two brothers how to approach such a thing...... in an Indian restaurant on my eldest brother's birthday.


Dad: "You have two options. 1) Book it straight into the MOT garage with the risk of it failing and YOU (note the emphasis he put on me there) pay for any repairs that have to be made. OR
 2) Book in for a service with Mick first, which would be far far cheaper "
Mick is our horribly old family mechanic that has been working on Cooper family cars quite literally since the stone age. Lovely guy, but I will forever hold a grudge against him.......

Prior to my current car I owned two BEAUTIES. At the perky young age of seventeen I was handed this monstrosity as my first car.

A black Fiat Uno with no powersteering that pretty much was a baked bean tin on wheels.
My best friend Laura ironically (of course) named him Lightning.
Sadly, this is not a picture of MY Lightning, but you get the idea.

After Lightning was (FINALLY!) declared unsafe to drive... by me...... Dad invested in a Little red Ford KA, which Laura named Ketchup. Ketchup was nippy, reliable and looked like a little bug on wheels.

Back to the point. It was time for Ketchup's MOT so my parents booked him in with Mick for a service. All looked fine and dandy, I paid for the service and then booked him in for an MOT at a garage in New Malden. 

My mother had instructed me to drop Ketchup off and go for a 'wander and a coffee in New Malden' until the garage rang. So I went to Costa (my LEAST favourite coffee shop) had a Latte and read a magazine. An hour went by.... no phone call.

LONGGGG story short.... almost TWO FUCKING HOURS later the garage called. "Hi Rachel, right I'm sorry it has taken so long, but I am afraid your car has failed its MOT". Oh ruddy hell, whyyy??? Mick told me it was fine!!

I walked back to the garage ... i had been lingering on the corner for about half an hour. The mechanic explained to me that the whole underneath was covered in rust and was slowly disintegrating... Ketchup wasn't worth saving.
I MEAN HOW THE HELL DID MICK MISS THAT???????????? - this is why i still hold a grudge. SO, I had had to pay for the service AND the MOT..... and for WHAT???? A dead car that was taken off the road.

So back to my current car and MOT predicament.
By the way - my car is an 'unamed' Corsa. Laura branded it such a sinfully dull car compared with Ketchup and Lightning that she couldn't find a suitable name.
I think we got as far as suggesting dull names such as Pam or Mary... but nothing was decided upon.

In the middle of this Indian restaurant I had caused a mass Cooper family debate. An argument had ruptured. Usually this is the doing of my 'Puppet master' brother Daniel, but this time it was most definitely me.
"Mick is still perfectly good at the smaller jobs, he always works on our cars"
"DAD he missed my entire rust infestation on Ketchup!!"
"yeah dad he can't even get under a car these days, what's the point??!! Rach just book it into the MOT garage"
"FINE...  but Rachel you have to pay for all the costs if the MOT garage finds any issues..."
"Don't come to us when they charge you £300 plus like they did Daniel"
"Dad that was a different garage, they were idiots"
"But Daaaaaaaaaad I get paid peanuts and I am paying for Vancouver to see Laura"
"Rachel... you are a grown up. Budget for these things"
"Mum.... I didn't even know the MOT was due because YOU didnt tell me"
"Mum and Dad weren't paying for our MOTs at your age"
"Shut up Andrew"
"Where is all your money anyway... you live at home!"
"I pay rent!!!!"
"Rachel! your 'rent' barely covers anything!"
"BAH! whatever... I am booking it into the garage... I cant be bothered to waste time and money on Mick!! I was just asking your opinion".
"Fine"
"Fine"
"Fine"
"Fine"

So I booked my unamed Corsa into the garage and took it over at 8.30am. No lie in for me on my day off then....
3 hours later (I had gone home this time) NOTHING. I called up the garage.

"I am very sorry Rachel, but I am afraid your car has failed"

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEE????!!!! It is an 06 reg Corsa.... surely that is 'new' enough for it to survive an MOT. Apparently not on my watch. 


Right, I had to leave the car at the garage over night as I had plans and wasn't waiting around for my bastard Corsa to get over its hypochondria.
Before I left I specifically asked my mother whether she would be in this evening to let me into the house, as the garage had my house keys. She would be in. Fab.
I met with Jem and we had a lovely lunch and drinks in her back garden, in 20 degree heat, in the middle of March... insane!!!
I then went to meet some work friends for a girl's leaving drinks... all very nice.
As I made my journey home with 2 of the girls I thought i'd ring/ text my mum to check she was at home. NOTHING.
Shit.
Contacted my dad to see if he could pick me up from the station and therefore let me into my house. NOTHING.
double shit.
I hate being shunned.

Finally got a text from Dad saying he and Mum were on a date at the Cinema. WHATTTTTT????!!!!
"Well, when does the film finish? I have no keys and Daniel is working on night duty."
"It hasnt started yet, sorry"
"DAD!!! I have no car, no keys and will be stranded out in the street for hours"
"Go to the neighbours"
"for the next THREE or so hours???? NO! I dont even know them that well"
"well then looks like you will be outside in the cold"
"Seriously..... this is a joke"

By this point I was also running on 10% iphone battery..... nightmare.

who could help me????

ANDREW!!! yes!!
I rang my brother. NOTHING.
Seriously, why do my family not pick up their phones to me??!! probably because they know I am always after a favour.


I tried my sister in law, Andrew's wife. SHE RUDDY PICKED UP!!!!! And sent Andrew out to get me, who dropped me home. Thank god, I don't do stranded.