I also have obscene road rage issues... for the record.
Today was a day of endless London Transport rage.
Firstly - I was waiting (im)patiently for my train to arrive at 8.04 this morning. As usual I was the first to arrive to my section of the platform AND YET a stupidly short blonde haired lady that kept sniffing pusssssshed her way onto the train in front of me. FOR WHAT??? THERE ARE NO SEATS LOVE. We are English. We Queue....
Secondly - A couple of stops in to my journey I managed to nab one of those silly standing up butt ledge seat type things. Mwahahahaha take that short blonde lady. But when we arrived at the next stop the WHOLE WORLD piled onto my carriage and a very tall man decided to stand DIRECTLY in front of me. In fact NO..... directly ON me. He had managed to position himself so awkwardly that he had no access to a hand rail. EVERY.RUDDY.TIME the train broke or sped up he would fall into me - smacking me on the nose. Douche.
Thirdly - I ran (slash skipped) to catch my second connection... but got stuck behind an sinfully slow gentleman who CLEARLY did not understand the meaning behind the term RUSH HOUR. I tried to dodge out of his way but I was trapped. To my left - a wall, to my right - a pregnant lady.
Finally made it up onto the platform and heard the bells going as crowds of people bombarded their way onto the train. I hopped along trying to chose a suitable door. No time. I made the decision to get a little run in there, twisted my leg in an awkward way and buckled under the pain. The doors closed in my face. I.... not so cooly... did a quick U Turn and took my phone out and pretended to text, not a care in the world, as if I hadn't just humiliated myself and missed my train due to my absurd fumbling. Smooth.
Fourthly (pleasantly surprised that fourthly is ACTUALLY a real word) - THE LONDON OVERGROUND TRAIN BETWEEN RICHMOND AND STRATFORD STILL HAS ITS HEATING ON. That is all.
Fifthly - When home time came I went to the station and had to wait FIFTEEN MINUTES for a tube. A standard London Transport issue, but very annoying nonetheless.
Sixthly - My second train home was approaching the platform. I was hurriedly trying to make my way up the platform, following behind a lady that again was moving at a glacial pace. THEN. SHE STOPPED DEAD. In the middle of the platform. She quite literally caused a 3 person pile up.
Seventhly (seriously... how is that a word??) - My Final train of the day. Hurrah! Very busy SW London train and some selfish PRICK decides to lean his whole body against the central pole. As in the one that EVERYONE needs to hold onto to stop themselves from falling like dominoes. I did some excellent eyes rolling and tutting at him - I swear to god I am a middle aged grot of a woman at times.
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