Drunk; Intoxicated with alcoholic liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties.

One of my (WONDERFUL) older brothers kindly reminded me of the next hideous experience, I am about to describe for you, on a night out last week.

Cheers Dan...

SO, when I was 12 my family and I went on Holiday in Greece. Two things you should know:

1) This was my first 'proper' holiday abroad (well... that I was aware of)

2) This was a CHRISTIAN holiday. Yes my parents took us on a Mastersun holiday..... I don't think I have actually admitted this to anyone until now. But what the hoo. 

As CRINGEY as a Christian holiday sounds we actually had an amazing fortnight..... once you get past the all the bible reading and evening prayer meetings of course.

Luckily, my parents were happy to give me some freedom by leaving me in the protection of my older brother Daniel. (.............unfortunately for them, Mother and Father had left the more responsible of their sons at home and were all too trusting of young 'responsible' Daniel)

There was a big group of young teens staying at the resort and most nights we would go into town and then end up on the beach until the early hours - Oh we were Crazy Christian Kids...... (YEAHHHH ALLITERATIONS!!!)

One of the nights, we decided to try our luck at purchasing a truck load of alcohol from a local shop/kiosk/off license/Newsagents (European term?!) and we took it all back to the beach. 

By this age I had of course had alcohol before - I'm not amish or anything. However, I had not ever been so completely inebriated that I forgot who and where I was. 

The alcohol consumption had started gradually with beers, vodka and coke and Tequila Sunrises (courtesy of our CHRISTIAN reps at the hotel bar). As we sprawled out onto the beach the consumption soon changed to spirits straight out of the bottle. 

This was the first and LAST time I would drink Apple Schnapps. 

My dear brother claims that at this point he told me to 'calm down'..... and my response was 'GO AWAYYYY I'M FINEEEEEEE!!!'  - NOT that I am a trustworthy source but this SO does not sound like me..... **not making eye contact** la la la la laaaaaaa

SECONDS later.....

VOMITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! 

OH the humiliation....... in front of all my new best christian holiday pals!!