SO I came in from a long hard day at work and wanted to make myself a cold drink.
Now, I am quite picky- I always have to drink my beverages from a pint glass - none of these piddley 'only lasts one sip' glasses. I reached into the cupboard and pulled out a stack of two IKEA(of course!) pint glasses.
"Hmmmm these seem to be stuck together....."
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD" - oh yeah I still live at home, don't judge rent in London is hideous and I only graduated in July....(defensive much?!)
"Put them in hot water darling and they should come upstuck"
Righteo.... Dads are always right. So, I put them in boiling hot water in the sink - "I'll just throw in some fairy liquid for lubrication"
Returned to the situation a few minutes later and put ALL my strength into separating the glasses.
SUDDENLY..............
A GLASS EXPLOSION!!!!!!!!
EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK GLASS EVERYWHERE FUCK!!!!!"
Should note that my father was tutoring a young teen at the time and I am not proud of my foul choice of cursing word and the volume at which it was projected. - it's not big and it's not clever......
Ok, I tried to calm down and drop all glass back into the sink. I then STUPIDLY decided to viciously RUB my hands together in an effort to remove all clingy shards of glass.
NB: DO NOT RUB GLASS SMOTHERED HANDS TOGETHER.
ME:"FUCK FUCK FUCK THERE'S GLASS STUCK IN MY FUCKING FINGER. MUM BRING TWEEZERS!!!!"
ME:"TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT OUT..."
MUM:"OH I can't see that, I need my glasses"
MUM:"PHIL come help take the glass out!"
DAD:"Wait, I can't see that, I need my glasses"
ME:"Bloody hell guys!!!" - Blood POURING out of my finger at this point!!
DAD:"Rach, is there actually any glass in there?"
ME:"WHERE DO YOU THINK THE BLOOD IS COMING FROM??!!!"
ME:"Just give me the tweezers i'll do it myself."
WHAT.A.HOO.HAH
Mother redeemed herself by wrapping a plaster round my injury and Father cleared all the broken glass up and made a LOVELY joke about the shards being diamonds.
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